For the past month, I’ve personally been dealing with a lot of issues. I’ve decided to take some time out and blog about it. I don’t really get on a personal level here at Static-Romance too often but today I just needed to get a few things off of my chest. How often do we not get along with our parents? How often do we see ourselves bickering over something new that our parental units decided against. I constantly heard growing up that “a child must take a child’s place.” What exactly is a child’s place? When are we no longer a child?
Does anyone stop to think about the different situations in which regular child-to-parent relationship rules do not apply? The government has many laws that are meant to uphold the sentimental balance within the home. However to every law, there are loop holes. What about the cases that escape the system? What do you do when you are a child living in a home with no hope. The signs of physical abuse are covered with excuses and lies and in a time that emotional abuse was barely considered a problem. There’s thousands of cases that go unnoticed. I am a young lady who grew up in one of those homes.
How does somebody let go when they’ve only known one path of destruction? How does one remain sane when the pressure of choice and condemnation rest solely above their heads overnight? How far must another go to destroy their own blood? I cannot say I fully understand where I came from. I have always been different. I never looked the same. I never acted the same. I was never interested in the same things. I did not belong. I was the black sheep and was treated as such. I was the only one who was thrown on this rollercoaster ride to hell.
I’m now living a life where peace is upheld. The people are calm and the situations are dealt with in an adult manner. There are not words and fists being thrown to injure. There is sanity and resolution. So why am I still hurting from the past? Will I always be hurting from the past? I want to make my own future. I have the power to. So far it will not be an easy road as my name has been tainted. The numbers that were attatched to my identity at birth have been scorned. What is one to do? Where does one turn? What does one believe in?
My sanity dwells in the eyes of Who I believe in. My heart stays shielded by the love of my life. My intellgence and wisdom continue to grow as the conditions in this battle worsen. I will not surrender myself but I will let go.
Welcome to Static-Romance.Org, your number one stop for design and life inspiration. My name is Angel Y. and I'm a newlywed twenty year-old freelance graphic designer and front-end web developer. I enjoy fashion, web, graphic, and interior design. I co-own 
Lol, I wish I didn`t have such a bad temper. ( sigh ) Haha.
With thesee people, it`s different. If i don`t say something, they`ll say more shiz. o_O So, I just started standing up for myself & what not . Haha.
By the way, before I had a subdomain, I had a myspace site & I`d always come to your page for tutorials & stuff. x] When I was just a beginner though. :P Hehehe.
I don’t really know if there is anything I can say that would make you feel better. But I do know how you feel. I was never abused though; maybe emotionally but never any other kind. The thoughts will always be there, but you can overcome the hurt. What I do is just let myself cry and cry. Maybe I’ll yell a bit. Just pick a day, a time, once during the week to let yourself be sad, angry, scream, cry, yell. Do whatever you can to get it all out. Trust me, it will make you feel better.
Again, I don’t know if anything I said will help, or can help. But just know that things will get better in time. You just have to be patient I suppose. =/
Anyway, thank you for the comment. And yeah she seems to be very emotional over something. I’m kind of hoping she loses her job though, as bad as I would feel. She’s just not manager material; never has been. He’s giving her 2 chances already.
It’s late so I might not quite totally get what you’re saying right now but I’m going to comment because I THINK I get it and I just feel at a certain time, I guess whenever you feel ready, to break away from your family and their rules. Everybody always wants to give you a consequence if you don’t do what they want you to do and it comes a point when you say fuck you I’m grown and that’s when they back up. In order for you to break away from the restrictions you got to stand up and tell them, no more.
Janies last blog post..If Raping You Is Wrong..
I know exactly where you’re coming from, since I also grew up in one of those homes. It was tough growing up, and it still gets the best of me at times, but it’s taught me how to be stronger.
Although, I find it kind of sad that I had to learn to defend myself at such a young age.
Brandys last blog post..Brain is cluttered.
Wow.
That’s something you wrote.. no, perfectly described. It really made me think about things, and I’m still thinking…
’cause of the way you wrote it, I really think you can make your own future!
Hey there Angel :)
Thanks for answering my “Questions” blog, I enjoyed reading your answers.
Wow, that’s deep!
I never knew that you were abused as a child.
I can’t tell you “I know how you feel” because in fact, I don’t.
But I can tell you that your past will never disappear, it will always be there staring at your face! Sometimes, we tend to look away, but that does not change the fact that it is still looking at you whether you like it or not.
I think that you will feel much better when you look back at it, your past I mean, and think deeply about why are you in this pain? What really caused it?
And most of the time, the truth will hurt you, maybe more than you already are!
The only way you will feel relieved is when you accept the truth, accept reality itself! And when you accept your life, you will accept yourself, and when you accept yourself you will learn to forgive yourself, and finally, forgive others… As hard as that may sound, forgiveness is the only way you will feel better. And you will finally close your eyes and LET IT ALL GO!
Sorry if I sounded too much like a shrink, but even though I haven’t been abused myself, I know a lot of people who have… And I sort of learned from their experiences and came up with my own conclusion.
I really hope you feel completely happy Angel, you deserve it :D
Peace!
Ninas last blog post..Funny facts
You don’t sound like a shrink at all. It’s good to know that somebody actually has some advice on the situation. I agree with you completely and I try to make light on the positive situations in my life. I enjoy your presence here at my site :)
This was deep!
I have also went through issues of abuse, more so verbal in the household. I learned to grow and mature faster than most teens. I learned to ignore the negativity and make conversations with those trying to bring me down short.
The only way you can dull the pain is to either forgive and pray or learn to make yourself forget…..I recommend forgiving, and it won’t be easy cause I’m still learning to do so.
On another note, I have a new website. Its John for Talentified.com :biggrin:
I’m glad you’ve returned to the blogging world. Prayer is definitely strong! I’ve kept up with that much. I’ll link you right now. :D