Happy Monday everyone! How was your weekend? I was baptized on Saturday for the first time ever and it went pretty well. I have pictures up on Facebook, so if you want my Facebook just send me a quick e-mail and I’ll send you the link. I was busy the entire week, so excuse my lack of blogging. We’ve been working on some projects and establishing contacts. I had lots of emotional ups and downs last week, but I’m back on my p‘s and q‘s today. I won’t go into great detail, but I am very happy to be re-establishing things in my life.
There are only 43 days left until the wedding. Eep! I’m royally freaking out because everything has changed within the past month. From the guest list, to the location, and even the dress. I can safely say I have no idea what I’m doing and I have every right to freak out. One of my friends from church basically told me that I have no choice but to celebrate with my church family when she heard about the guest list mishaps. I’m grateful, but at the same time fearful. They always go way out of their way for David and I. I have no idea what they’d even have in mind for a wedding reception. Oh dear. I’m excited nonetheless. My calendar keeps filling up for the next few months, even into next year. Aye, I don’t know how people have social lives.
As I was on Tumblr, a friend posted a link to this article on Love Rules for couples by Real Simple Magazine. I love when doctors and professors tell us about love! I think it’s quite interesting just to see what they have to say. So I’ll copy and paste a few of my favorite thoughts from the article and how they apply to me. You definitely need to read the article though. It’s great.
1. Say “I Love You” Every Day
Barbara De Angelis, personal-development expert: Say it as often as possible. There’s no reason to be emotionally stingy with the person you love.
Nancy Kalish, psychologist: I agree that it should be said often, but it should be said sincerely, so it means something. Not just “Good-bye. Love you.”
I agree with Mrs. Kalish. Saying “I love you.” should be sincere. When it’s just said to be said, it somewhat loses it’s meaning.
3. Your Spouse Shouldn’t Be Your Best Friend
Pepper Schwartz, sociologist: I agree. I think you’re asking a lot of your marriage to have the level of confidentiality, truthfulness, and disclosure that a best friendship has. Your marriage can fulfill only so many roles.
De Angelis: I disagree. If your spouse isn’t your best friend, then what is he? I think it’s important that you not only love him but like him a lot, too.
John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus: I have no problem with partners who are best friends, but you should have other close friends to confide in as well―especially when you are having relationship difficulties and need time away from your spouse. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
Mr. Gray makes a very important point, and I agree with his opinion. David is my best friend, but at the same time it’s healthy for both of us to have close friends that we can confide in.
6. Never Go to Bed Angry
Barbara De Angelis, personal-development expert: I disagree. Most of us don’t do well discussing emotional topics late at night, when we’re tired and less emotionally articulate―and your well-intentioned desire to kiss and make up is likely to make him angrier. Let your partner get some rest and things will be easier to resolve in the morning.
Howard J. Markman, psychologist: Most of the relationship issues that people argue about at night can wait for another day. However, if there are urgent issues that need to be discussed, partners should talk things through earlier in the night, then try to spend what is left of the evening relaxing.
Nancy Kalish, psychologist: You shouldn’t go to bed angry, but that doesn’t mean you have to solve every problem before you nod off. Even if an issue isn’t resolved, people who love each other should be able to put it aside and get some sleep, but with the understanding that it will be addressed in the near future with a time specified.
I would have to agree with Dr. Markham. There’s nothing more unsettling than fighting before bed. It’s best to discuss the issues in a reasonable manners and relax thereafter. I’ve never gone to bed angry at anyone: a friend, parent, or a boyfriend, even if they deserved it. lol
7. Having Kids Will Bring You Closer
Pepper Schwartz, sociologist: Children are an extraordinary source of joy, but they also bring conflict and difficulty into any relationship. You lose time, privacy, and intimacy. An otherwise easy relationship can be tested in a whole new way.
Kalish: The more family members you have, the more friction you have, because there are more relationship issues to work through. And if you focus exclusively on the kids, it takes away from your togetherness as a couple.
I believe it is different for each couple. Some people do become closer with children, and others fall apart. I don’t think I’m testing this theory out anytime soon; but I’d love to hear how your relationships have gone after kids!
11. Love Conquers All
Barbara De Angelis, personal-development expert: Unfortunately, this is not true. Love is a big part of a lasting relationship, but shared values and commitment are still required.
Pepper Schwartz, sociologist: Sadly, it’s a myth. Love won’t conquer poverty, addiction, or abuse.
Ah, Mrs. De Angelis said it better than I could have. Shared values and commitment are a big part of the equation that people tend to forget in relationships. If you don’t commit or share the same values, things usually don’t work out that well.
So what are some of your relationship rules? I think I may do a follow-up post discussing mines.
Welcome to Static-Romance.Org, your number one stop for design and life inspiration. My name is Angel Y. and I'm a newlywed twenty year-old freelance graphic designer and front-end web developer. I enjoy fashion, web, graphic, and interior design. I co-own 
Lovely post! Thanks for sharing.
Congratulations on the wedding, i’m sure it will be beautiful :)
My rules are pretty simple: Be very honest. Never hide anything. Be trust-worthy. And of course, be very loyal!
Pretty obvious, but most important to me!
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Well I don’t have any relationship rules, never been in a relationship with anyone before. Being single is what I think is best for me but then again I am young and I don’t know what tomorrow holds for me.
That really exciting that it’s getting closer to your wedding day! 43 days will be here before you know it! That is awesome that you got baptized too. You sound like you’ve been doing really good! I hope that the rest of your planning goes smoothly though!
Hey, I’m glad that you liked that post! :)
I just wrote a comment but it accidentally got erased -__-
I was going through your posts and I really liked the “Five” one! Can you provide me with five words? Purrtyy please? ;)
Also, I love how excited you are about your wedding! I still wish I was going!! I know it will be a wonderful and beautiful day for you! =)
Sheila´s last blog ..Love conquers all and other myths.
Sorry for the late reply Sheila :P I’ve been kinda busy. Here’s your five:
- College
- Cousins
- Music
- Internet
- Job
Woooohoo! Not long now, bet you are excited :)
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Yay for the wedding coming up soon! And congrats on getting Baptised. :D That’s neat getting Baptised now instead of as a child. ^_^
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I sent you an email on your contact form for a Facebook request. I’d love to see your photos. :D
I can’t believe the wedding is coming so soon! It goes so fast – trust me! I am so excited for you!
Thank you for sharing this post. It was great. I loved it. There are a lot of great points.
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I say I love you to my husband maybe 32647263476 times a day, just because. It just comes out, never forced or fake. Your true feelings always come out one way or another. Everybody has different ways expressing their feelings though, and it might not always be with words.
Kids will bring you closer? That definitely isn’t for everybody! What DOES make you or break you is living with someone for an extended period of time. I recommend it before making any kind of serious commitment (marriage or babies).
Angie´s last blog ..Why I love antagonists